By Aaron Joslow

There are teachers and there are teachers. In college, one such teacher who shaped my writing was William G. Tapply, or Bill. He died this summer.

Several weeks ago, nearly four hundred past and current students, family, fellow outdoorsman and writers, neighbors, and adult and childhood friends trekked to Hancock, NH to celebrate his life. "How did you know Bill?" was a common icebreaker.

To my, "Bill was my professor," the follow up was, "What did you learn?"

The first lesson was: Do not be late to Bill's class. (But that's a story for another time.) His lessons mainly had to do with writing. I use them whenever editing articles, especially in the business world. They guide my actions, and his explanations give me the conviction to press my case with uncooperative authors.

His lessons apply to marketing copy, white papers, research reports, and proposals. Here are some of Bill's lessons for businesspeople of all professions.

What Happened?

Career counselors offer advice for how to get hired—how to convince businesses to invest tens of thousands of dollars in your salary. And every counselor hands out a list of action verbs to use in a resume—words like achieved, created, increased, and initiated. Why does every counselor have that sheet? Why do verbs matter?

They are the action of a sentence. They say what you did.

Imagine watching a Bruce Willis movie that shows Bruce sleeping or knitting or whittling on a park bench for 90 minutes… Bored yet? So too are readers if your writing has little action or lousy verbs.

Bill recommended that every student take their essays and underline every verb in every sentence. It was startling how we selected our verbs. It also made me aware of how thoughtlessly other writers select theirs too:

• "Have your employees had work-related injuries?" is sterile compared with, "Have your employees suffered from work-related injuries?"
  
  
• "Our business got some great results from using this new strategy," is less exciting than, "Our business enjoyed some great results from executing this new strategy."
  
  
• "He looked at our books and came up with some terrific savings," is not as accurate as, "He scoured our books and discovered some terrific savings."

Your Assignment: Underline every verb in your document with a colored pencil. Consider which other verbs might be more interesting, accurate, and enlivening.

Words Unfit for the Job or Worse

Worse than using poor verbs in Bill's mind was using adverbs (adjectives that describe verbs). For instance:

• "The executive shouted loudly."
  
  
• "The assistant ran quickly into the boardroom."

If you used an adverb, it meant that not only was the verb inadequate, but that it needed the help of a second word to do its job! He loathed them (with some exceptions). He saw them as evidence of careless writing. Continuing this example, here is why:

• "The executive shouted," is a perfect sentence. "Loudly" is inferred and unneeded.
  
  
• "Ran quickly" is wasteful. Pick a better verb. "The assistant sprinted into the boardroom" is concise and preferable.

Striking adverbs from your sentences is particularly important for marketing copy. Prospects scan copy. They do not read it. Every word you cut makes copy more concise and a call to action more powerful. The same is true for proposals. Executives want the point. Adverbs dither.

Your Assignment: Underline each adverb with a different colored pencil. Pick a better verb and remove them if you can. Remember, it is okay to keep a few.

Sesquipedalian vs. Straightforward

Colleges are a place for erudition, cogitation, and repartee that elucidate intellectual conventions on the different meanings of texts when assessed through a myriad of literary paradigms, e.g. feminism, semiotics, and post-modernism.

Ugh.

Bill never tolerated such nonsense in our writing. Why say "elucidated" when "explained" will do. Remove "myriad" from the page when "many" works just as well. Vocabulary words have their place…on the SAT. Big, fancy words undermine most writing. They stop the reader mid-sentence, usually overcomplicate things, and rarely serve the reader.

Your Assignment: In most cases, if a word sends readers to dictionary.com, replace it with another.

Short and Sweet

I always thought short sentences belonged to children's books. Undeveloped minds could pay attention to no more than six words at a time. For grown readers, short sentences insulted their intelligence. They were taboo.

Bill loved them. They add punch. They are whole and complete. Many articles, white papers, and reports would benefit from more of them.

Your Assignment: Take each paragraph and look at the lengths of your sentences. Most business writing lumps many ideas together in a single sentence. Break some of them up into short, crisp sentences. It will enliven your writing and keep readers reading.

Our Common Touch

Much of what Bill shared focused on creating straightforward, unpretentious, and accessible writing. He embodied those qualities in person and in writing, connecting with so many people over such a long time. He taught and encouraged others to embody them too.

We all want to connect with other people, be they prospects, executives, or colleagues. So follow Bill's advice: "Embrace editing. Tinker with your sentences. Strive to maximize clarity and minimize word count. Rewriting is hard but satisfying work, and your readers will thank you for it."

Aaron Joslow is a principal at Rally Point Webinars who specializes in content development and webinar implementation. Click here to email Aaron.